Over the holidays, we spent a lot of time just being a little family of three. Spent time with family and friends alike, got some of the long outstanding chores done, and overall just had a very relaxing time. During that time, I did quite a bit of reflecting. I listened to my heart and my head and really just tried to figure out what I'm doing. One of those ponderings brought me to thoughts of when I am a Grandmother someday (hopefully). Here are some ramblings of what I might want to say to my future self, a list of do's and don'ts if you will. Ah hem...
Play. Play a LOT with the grandkids. Get on the floor, who cares if your knees are gone, your belly comes out to them, and you cannot get up. There will be help to get off the floor. And lots of laughter to see the spectacle of you trying to get up. (smile) Play lots of games, board games, card games, hide and seek, anything that the kids enjoy. Take them to the zoo, to the park, go with them to parties, meet their friends. The laughter and joy the kids have is the greatest thing to hear and see. (smile)
Listen. Listen to the laughter, the tears, the crazy zany sayings said with such exuberance you cannot stop but laugh and smile yourself. (Unless you're Scrooge - wink) Talk with them to figure out all the little nuances of their brains, help them to understand in a childlike way, get on to their level. Smile, laugh, cry along with them.
Be there. You may not always like some of the parenting styles, no two children are ever really raised the same, even within families. But be there. Be present. If you're working, take time off to spend with family. Spend time with just the kids, just you and the kids. Work will always be there, kids will grow up. Be with them at every stage.
Hugs and kisses. Give LOTS of hugs and kisses. And when they don't want them, be the silliest person you can imagine, they'll come around. Don't take it personally when there are times (and there will be times) when they don't want to come to you. As stated before, get on there level, and just be silly old Grandma.
Create memories and stories from those memories. Laugh about them, tell them often, include them in on the stories. They may not get it now, but someday, they will. I still laugh when I think about the times my Grandmother would pick me up from school for either a basketball practice, or choir, or any such after school activity, and we'd chat in the car ride, talking about the day, funny stories, anything. I really could tell her anything. Be THAT person. (Maybe one day I'll tell you about getting pulled over by a cop, with my Grandmother as the passenger. Yup, that really happened. She never told a soul. (smile))
So many things can be said, and I'm sure I'll want to add more as I get older. Hopefully I'll even remember to write them down. (wink, wink) With all that is said above, just remember to be present. Family comes first. Someday I hope I get a chance to tell just how much you truly mean to me. How much you have changed my life, my thoughts, all for the best. I hope to be able to spend time with you as you hold your little ones, being there, being THAT Grandma.
I love you baby,
Mom
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