Throwback Tuesday?

So, this morning I woke up in a bad mood.  Not sure why that happens sometimes but I'm guessing it partly has to do with the fact that I woke up several times in the last hour or two of sleep because of sprinklers turning on and not feeling very rested.  Yes, you read that right.  When we sleep with the windows open, I am a light enough sleeper that the sprinklers turning on from other people's yards wake me up.  (sigh)

I got the day started by folding a load of laundry, getting you ready for school and getting myself ready, all in under an hour.  I was pretty impressed with myself.  I could feel my mood starting to lift.

While I was driving on my way to work, I was flipping through the channels on the radio (because let's face it, who wants to listen to commercials very often), when I stopped.  Our song came on the radio, your daddy's and my song.  It was the song your Daddy used to propose.  I had caught it from the very beginning and proceeded to sing with it.  I'm Yours by Jason Mraz (you can listen to it here).  It was a song played a lot in 2008 and 2009, some even say it was overplayed.  But to me and your Daddy, it means the world.  Here is the story of how he proposed to me (please keep in mind, I was not a very good writer/story teller back then):  (smile)

 Picture courtesy of Kelly Dobson Photography

Typed on March 23, 2009 (proposed on March 22, 2009):

Okay, so my boss is really cool and understands that I am in no way getting any work done today.  It seems that I just can’t stop grinning and he told me that he is so very happy that we have some good news to share!

I also seem to be having some problems typing because I keep typing in the next word before I am even done with the word I had originally intended on writing!  Backspace is my friend!

Here is the long wonderful novel:

Saturday we went and looked at mattresses because I have been having back problems recently and we are attributing one factor of that to be the mattress.  So yesterday after J’s class at church, I had thought we could go to Art Van and purchase the mattress and on the way hit up Bed, Bath and Beyond for holdbacks for my curtains that I put up in my bedroom on Saturday.  He said how about we hit up the Bed, Bath and Beyond near his apartment instead and then we could see if we wanted to go to Art Van.  I was a little annoyed.  He had been spending a lot of time doing other things (great things now that I know about them) and not spending as much time with me.

So we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought the holdbacks and just mossied around the store looking at things we liked or did not like.  He even bought me a chocolate bunny (Harry Potter says chocolate always make you feel better).  Once we were in the car he apologized that he had been so busy lately and said he had a surprise for me.  He was going to make me dinner!  So cool!

We went back to his place and he led me to the dining room table where he had a bouquet of bright orange (I love orange!) gerbera daisies on the table.  He then showed me that he had purchased a bottle of wine, Reunite’s Lambrosco, and he wanted me to relax and get comfy.  So he made dinner, yummy lasagna, while I watched and talked with him.  We then sat on the sofa and watched some of a movie while it was cooking.  (Looking back, the movie was The Holiday, not a very good movie but we love it and bought it because it reminds us of this day.)

As it came time for dinner, he poured us both another glass of wine and we ate his fabulous meal.  He then said he had one more surprise for me.  Bursts were going off all over me because I thought it would be so cool for him to ask me now!  So I totally played it up and said, “Really!?  I thought the flowers were the surprise.”  LOL!  He said, “No.  I have one more surprise for you that is just a little bit bigger.”

He went into his bedroom and came out with his guitar.  He then set up our chairs so that they were facing each other.  He started singing and playing the Jason Mraz song, “I’m Yours.”  I was tear stricken instantly!  I knew it was coming.  He then held back tears as he sang and played the song.  As he got to the end of the song, he said “This is where the song stops on the radio, but I thought it needed one more line.”  So, singing and playing as if the song is still going, he started singing about our time together, from the moment we met, all the ups and downs, and to where we are now.  He then put the guitar down, still singing went over to the guitar case, pulled out the ring, and asked me to marry him!  I am getting goose bumps and teary eyed just as I type this!  I instantly gave him a kiss and said “Yes!”  He is so awesome!  I love him so much!  The ring is beautiful and I am going to try and take some pictures of it tonight to post on my facebook page.  I just can’t wait to spend an eternity with him!

So now that you have read my novel, what do you think?  Romantic?!

Tid bits from our weekend...

There are so many things in life that I cannot wait to show you and experience with you.  I know it will all come in due time but to think of all the wonderful things that you will do in your lifetime, well, it gives me chills to know that you were entrusted into our care.  Here are some jottings of your personality and activities over the last few days:

We took you to eat your first ice cream cone on Thursday and it was so neat!  Our church was putting on a fundraiser for orphan children in Kenya at Oberweis and it was so cool to see all the people from Church or from word of mouth come out to support the cause!  And you, well you choose a chocolate ice cream cone and LOVED IT!  You started off by just licking it but once you got it to be the size of your mouth, you put the whole thing in!  (smile)  And you ate every single bite!  Daddy helped you a little bit to keep the mess to a minimum (it was melting fast since we were sitting outside).  Take a look at your happy little face!

 Pretty sure you like ice cream cones:

 

 

 Look at that contented chocolate face!

On Saturday, you tested your boundaries, which your two-itude seems to be doing more of lately.  (smile)  You had decided it was funny to call me by my first name.  We however, did not find that as amusing.  You had done that back on Christmas Eve 2012.  You had heard me being called Aunt Krystin all day while at Nanny and Pappa’s house and insisted on calling me that the rest of the evening.  We learned then you definitely know our names.  However, it is not alright to call us by those names.  Saturday you kept saying, “Krystin, I love you!” and it was adorable to hear you tell me you love me but not so adorable to call me by my first name.  Which lead to lots of sitting on the step.  And lots of conversations on being nice and being mean.  At first you choose to be mean.  I asked you if you wanted to be nice.  You plainly said, “No.”  So more time on the step.  It finally got to the point we had to threaten you with not seeing Nanny.  We were heading to a birthday party that afternoon and Nanny would be there.  But we weren’t going to go if you continued to be mean.  You started to choose to be nice.  (smile)

We headed to the party and you were great!  You played a ton with Mason and to watch the two of you in the bounce house together was so incredibly sweet!  The love you have for your cousins amazes me!  I grew up without any cousins and the ones that I have are all my parents’ cousins that are out of state.  So to watch you with him was so much fun.  You screamed, laughed, played, you plainly had a blast in that bounce house!  You were sad when Mason didn’t want to be in the house anymore so you even tried to pull him back in!  (smile)

On the way home though, you pushed your boundaries, again.  You insisted on calling me Krystin again.  So I took your balloon and I played with it.  And you little stinker, it took you all the way home before you got that we meant business.  You finally asked me to turn around and said, “I love you.  Can I call you mama and not mommy?”  Yes you can sweetie.  (smile)

I'll leave you with one last thing.  Yesterday, while getting ready for church, you ran into our closet and shut the door.  A moment later you turned on the light and several moments after that, you came out and we were both impressed and laughing.  You walked out of the closet wearing my boots!  With heels!  And you looked right up to me and said, "Look Mama! I'm Jessie!"  So adorable!  You thought you were like Jessie from Toy Story 2 because of the boots!  Hilarious!

Jessie's boots!

And upside down silly Jessie!

I love that your imagination is really starting to take shape and you recognize things, like the boots that Jessie wears in Toy Story.  You’re a good kid even with all your two-itude and twama.  (smile)  And I love you so much.

Mommy

It's one of those days...

Today is one of those days where I just don't want to get out of my pajamas.  There are some issues going on in life that have gotten me down, so much so I've been up since 3am.  I just wish someone would come over, and let me cry.  Let me cry and let them understand my tears.

In an attempt to perk myself up, I went on Pinterest (which I am completely addicted to as evidenced by the sheer number of pins I have pinned) and looked for some inspiration.  Here are some of the pins I found and I hope you find your inspiration in them as well:

This one could not have more truth in it.

I have been trying and trying to thwart the attitude.

The change needs to come from within.

I will change, for my child's sake.

This one is especially true for me today:

Yes, yes yes:

I need to read this everyday.  Most women need to read this:

I am trying.  Really I am.  I may not show it, but I am trying:

Know that we all have bad days.  And you can have bad days.  Let yourself time to grieve and feel.  It is human.

Your first neurologist appointment,

This morning we had your first neurologist appointment.  It really wasn't too bad.  Here is how the morning and the appointment went:

We left for the appointment at 8am, the same time Daddy left for work.  It was nice to have him help me get you in the car and ready to go because you stayed calm, and let's be honest, I was a little anxious for this appointment.  But you, you were actually pretty excited to go see the doctor!  You asked to have your Thomas push toy with you in the car and since it was going to be an hour ride, I didn't fight you on it.  (smile - you can also get pretty obstinate when you want something and this was a fight not worth having - smile)

The drive was going along really smoothly.  Then, we hit traffic.  And A LOT of it.  I had hoped since it was going to be about 8:30am when we hit the freeway it would be a little more cleared.  Now I know, that is not the case.  We got stuck on 696 Westbound from 11 mile all the way to the Northwestern Freeway and 696 split.  Let me just say, I am NOT a traffic person.  In fact, I do what I can to avoid it because it is the one instance where I really don't curb my tongue much.  Ha!  So I called Daddy to let him know we might be late to the appointment and to see if he could see if there were any issues or accidents.  He looked and said, no, this was just the normal flow of traffic.  Perfect.  It wasn't the ideal situation but the good news about being stuck in traffic, I could not think about your appointment.  I had to keep my eyes firmly placed on the cars around me. 

To my surprise, we arrived to the appointment 3 minutes early!  Hooray!  We weren't late!  We went inside and you took to the receptionists immediately.  You were showing them all your Thomas the Train, pointing out the letters on the walls and talking to them nonstop.  It was so cute!  One of the receptionists even gave you TWO stickers!  You were thrilled!  You had me put them on Thomas and then show them all Thomas again!  They were smitten with you and you were having so much fun with them.

We waited less than 5 minutes in the chairs when they called you.  "Evelyn" was called.  For each appointment we have for you, that is what is said.  But we so rarely call you that (to be honest, it's mostly when you are in loads of trouble), that it takes me just a split second to realize they are calling you.  (smile)  You happily followed the nurse.

You were great!  I mean truly.  They wanted you to step on the scale and you just went right up there, no issues at all.  The we followed her to the back room and you again, took to it like this was something you do everyday.  Now, when we got into the room, I was a little taken aback.  It was all brown, nothing to denote it being a children's doctor's office.  But that didn't seem to bother you one bit.  You sat down on the step stool (it is after all the perfect height for you to use as a chair) and started to read your books.  Really, you were more than fantastic.

The doctor then came just moments later.  And at first, I was not sure how the appointment would go.  We were already in a very dark brown room and then he walked in, in a suit with an old fashioned black doctor's bag.  My first thought, "Oh man.  How is this going to go?  This old man in this old room."  But man were my first impressions wrong!

He started off asking questions about the seizures, how long they lasted, was there any actual shaking, what did we do to help you.  Come to find out, they probably wouldn't classify the last one you had in July an actual seizure.  I don't remember what exactly he said but it was something to the fact that there was still something going on in your brain to halt the neurons from functioning properly, which is what you typically see after someone has a seizure' but the fact that there was a lack of actual shaking, they wouldn't call it a seizure.  Still scary none the less.

All the questions, information and conversation didn't seem to phase you in the least.  You just kept "reading" your books.  Then it came time to check you out.  And this is where my fist impression was proven wrong.  He opened up his bag, and started pulling out a bunch of TOYS!  Yes, toys!!!  It was so cute!  He did a checkup on you and used toys to get you to do what was needed for him to check you out.  And you, well, you had so much fun!  You kept asking him to take his Kermit and frog squeak toys out of his bag to play some more.  And one other thing that was neat, when he checked your reflexes, he put his thumb where he was going to hit and hit his thumb to get the reaction he needed!  I had no idea that could be done!  So cool!

He said you look perfectly healthy and that he's pretty confident what you have been experiencing is what's called Febrile Seizures (seizures that occur due to a sharp increase in temperature), but he ordered an EEG just to make sure there is nothing wrong in your brain.  Now the story of the next appointment, well, I'm not sure it will go nearly as smoothly as this appointment went (they only want you to have four-five hours of sleep the night before, maximum), but you surprise me everyday so we'll see!

I'm still not happy that you are going through this but finding there are many many children that go through this.  Most seem to stop having the seizures around age 4!  Here's hoping and praying we don't have to experience this for must longer and if we do, that's it's fewer and fewer incidents as time goes by!

I love you!

Mommy

Changes from generation to generation

It occurred to me the other day that like things of my mom’s past, I am now old enough to have experienced things that you most likely will not.  Maybe some of these things will show my age, but we all age at some point right?  And it’s how old you feel you are that counts right? 

I could not help but wonder, will you know what this symbol # is/was called?  I think quite possibly it could be Jeopardy trivia in about 30 years.  “This symbol used to have other uses before it became the precedent to a hashtag.  What is the pound sign Alex.”  Yes, Alex most likely won’t be around but I could not help but chuckle at the mere fact that the pound sign is quickly and mostly known as what goes before the hashtag and I can see, as the use of it increases, quickly becoming called hashtag itself. 

Growing up I used to get confused when calling some numbers.  They would ask you to put in your zip code or some other number and for the longest time, I had to think, “Okay.  When they ask me to push the pound sign when I’m done, which one is it, # or *?” 

This reminds me of our trip to North Carolina a few weeks back.  Your cousin Nick walked up to me and showed me what he called a GPS and that it didn’t work.  Now, I could not help but laugh.  It was an old Sony Walkman!!!  This was something we used to listen to music on as kids!

Your generation probably won’t know how cool we thought cassettes, or better known as tapes (this is what we played on the Sony Walkman), were as kids.  We’d listen to the radio and try to record the song that was playing to the tape but you had to get it just right so as to get as much of the song as you could before the DJ would come in.  It became a skill!  Don't even get me started on records!  There are people who are my age that haven't listened to a record!  Insanity!  (smile)

Or the fact that there used to be toys in the cereal boxes!  Yes, you read that right, toys!  They weren’t very big but it was always fun to see if you got the toy when the cereal was poured and if not, who was going to get it and when would it fall out?! 

And phones, well, they used to be much different than they are today.  Today, most people have cell phones and no longer have home phones or land lines.  We decided to get a land line when you were born but we still have digital phones.  The original phone was attached directly to the wall and had a cord that went from the phone to the handset.  And, you’d talk and walk on the phone and get tangled up in it!  Sometimes, it would be quite hilarious to see how tangled you got!

(And the phone below still looks more high tech than phones we used growing up!)

Which brings me to a similiar topic, payphones.  They used to be everywhere!  You would go to them and make a collect call (a phenomenon where the person you were calling  would either accept the charges of the phone call or not) or deposit a quarter into them for 60 seconds worth of time!  Now, when you  see them (they have become more and more rare), they have a slot for credit cards and usually cost at least a $1 per call!

It’s kind of neat to think about all the changes that will happen in your lifetime and the rest of mine.  What will be here, what won’t be here.  And funnier still, when you watch “Back to the Future” part 2 knowing that the time period in the movie is past and how wrong they assumed things would be. (smile)

Love you baby cakes! 

Mommy

PS...For readers, what are some other things you can think of that have changed or that you think will change in the future?

When life is hard, look for rainbows,

There are times in your life where things will be hard.  That's just how life is.  This year, and going back into the end of 2012, have been really hard for me.  So much has happened but there seems to be so many more dips than rises that it has gotten me down.

The past several weeks have really put me in a not so great state of mind.  To the point that I stopped talking to God.  Now, it's not that I don't believe in Him or Jesus, but I couldn't talk or pray.  I have been so angry and hurt and have been putting that on God.  He could change things but has chosen not to.  That's what I kept telling myself.  Two weeks ago, I was ready to start talking to Him again.  I was ready to confess my sins and receive Him back into my life wholeheartedly.  But then, another blow, and I'm back down to where I've been for a while.

Last night I could see the dark clouds billowing in the West.  I was driving and just wanted to get home before the storm hit.  But as I looked into the rearview mirror, I couldn't help but say, "God, it's been so hard.  I cannot handle anymore.  I just want my rainbow.  Please show me my rainbow so I know everything will be okay.  You gave Noah his rainbow, now I need mine."

We got home, got into the house and not 30 minutes later, the storm hit.  It rained so hard our street was flooded instantly.  Rain water was coming out of our gutters as the sheer pressure of water was more than the gutters could handle.  We watched as impressive lightning strikes hit, and loud clashes of thunder pounded our ear drums.  You loved listening and kept reversing which was thunder and which was lightning but you loved the storm.  We played and listened as nature came down on our house.

The storm ended as fast as it came.  All of a sudden, bright sunlight shown in our large picture window in the foyer.  Daddy looked out the window of our backyard.  "Hey look!  There's a rainbow!"  I couldn't believe he said that.  He had no idea of what I'd said/prayed.  I ran to the kitchen window.  And sure enough, this is what I saw:

It's hard to see but there is a double rainbow.  I immediately thought of what I had said in my head earlier.  God showed up.  Not only did He give me exactly what I asked for, He helped restore my hope.  Here's to hoping for a brighter half of the year. 

God bless,

Mommy